By Andrew Nyquist


• You wake up and start watching the markets, only to realize that it’s 2:00 in the afternoon and you’re still in your underwear thinking “I’ll shower in 10 more minutes…”

• You understand fibonacci retracements, elliot waves, demark indicators, support, resistance, and backtests… and can use them all in the same sentence.

• You tell yourself that your crappy stock trade is now “a good long term hold” after forgetting to set a stop and being down a wad… only then to say who am I kidding and completely sell out of the stock… only then to have the stock rebound moments later.

• You blame the world for your crappy trades.

• You ask for divine intervention to cure your crappy stock trades.

• You curse the names of your worst trades… “Oh Man, I’m getting TVIX’d again!”

• You land a big one and look in the mirror and pull out your six shooters.

• You have caught yourself uttering “Danger is my middle name.”

• You turn on StockTwits and Minyanville’s Buzz like they are your favorite TV shows.

• You get so freakin excited about a stock that you alter song lyrics to account for your ‘Hail to the Chief’ giddyness…

• You find yourself half-awake and strung out watching Bloomberg’s “On the Move” attempting to trade the overnight futures.

• You refer to Fed Chief Ben Bernanke as Helicopter Ben or The Bernank, or just for fun call him bank-boy and sing “Money for Nothing” in his honor… or curse his name over and over and over if the market turns against you.

• You ask your spouse for permission to sell your wedding band because the price of said metal is in a blow off top. And when they respond “Are you crazy?” You say “You just don’t get it.”

• You talk to your spouse about selling your own home multiple times per year based on housing sentiment/sector indicators.

• You have at least 1 mid-life trading crisis per year.

• You know how to put on an options “strangle strategy” without harming anyone other than yourself.

• And finally, YOU JUST MIGHT BE A TRADER IF you have gone off the deep end on a 15 minute cursing rant culminating with a table pound and a “holy sh!t that hurt!”


Hope you enjoyed. Let’s keep it rollin…


Your comments and emails are welcome.  Readers can contact me directly at

Twitter:  @andrewnyquist and @seeitmarket     Facebook:  See It Market

No positions in any of the securities mentioned at the time of publication.

Any opinions expressed herein are solely those of the author, and do not in any way represent the views or opinions of his employer or any other person or entity.

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